I can’t get over grandad’s death - The Times 1st October 2007

My grandad died in April, and I still don’t know how to deal with it. It wasn’t until he died that I realised how big a part of my life he was, and how much he meant to me, and I feel guilty that I never told him. Every night I struggle to get to sleep as I relive his funeral — the songs, what was said by the vicar and the speeches. I think about him and can see him as he was the last time I saw him. I fear that I may start to self-harm again, as it was the only thing in the past that could make me feel better.

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